A Season of Waiting and Hoping
Almost 2 years ago, I left the security and affirming presence of my church family and my biological family to move (temporarily) half way around the world to Australia. In both of these family groups I had significant roles of leadership and participation, in which I felt needed and appreciated. Suddenly, I had none of these affirming markers of place and belonging – and of active roles as eldest daughter, elder sister, and elder in the church.
I admit that I felt (and perhaps am still feeling) loss. Sometimes I still feel homesick, and maybe even depressed.
The question of identity (Who am I?) and self worth are often defined by the roles that we play in our homes, our communities, our workplaces, our clubs, our schools, and our church.
And although, in my new home, I am forming friendships in my neighborhood and in my church, I find that I am reluctant to join in at a high level of participation and commitment. Normally an ‘extrovert, joiner-inner, leader’, I find myself only wanting to stay cocooned in my home, pursuing solitary activities.
Yet I have a strong sense that this is exactly where I need to be.
There are simply times when God must loose us from the relationships and activities from which we have derived our identity and sense of well-being. This is for our benefit, so that we can more deeply depend on the sureness of God’s character and love. He is faithful to us and has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He has promised to be with us in every circumstance of life.
And, if I spend my time right now looking back at what was, or longing for something else yet to come, I will not be present to the now, and I will miss the very unique opportunity that has been given to me.
Right now I have an opportunity to use this gift of time to foster a deeper intimacy with, and awareness of, God’s presence in my life – through contemplation, meditation, worship, prayer, reading, study, and writing. Although there is still a struggle between flesh and spirit, I want to discover Mary’s secret – that passionate focus that drew her to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen, even though there was so much need for her to serve. I’m a pretty good Martha, and it is satisfying to serve others. It is more difficult for me to be still and draw near enough to God to listen with my heart – to hear his quiet voice amidst the noisy distractions of the world.
We all go through different seasons in our lives. The season that I am in right now is full of new opportunities even though they don’t look like what I imagined.
I feel that this is a season of waiting and trusting in my life.
- Waiting and trusting with purpose.
- Waiting and trusting with hope.
- Waiting and trusting with faith.
- Waiting and trusting with patience.
Time for my spiritual roots to go deeper and feed on deep wells of water rather than surface rain.
God does not abandon his children. He is always looking to me – to us – with intent and purpose.
My life is important to Him.
I was uniquely created for a specific purpose and design and therefore I can trust God to work that out in me – in the best way possible.
When have you experienced a time of waiting? wondering? trusting? What was the outcome?
What season of life are you in right now? What are the challenges and rewards of this time that has been given to you?
In what ways can we embrace change as a positive force in our lives?
If we lose identity markers (employment, a relationship, a title or role, community), where can we find a better truth about ourselves?
That is my story. I would love to hear yours.
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