A Season of Waiting and Hoping
Almost 2 years ago, I left the security and affirming presence of my church family and my biological family to move (temporarily) half way around the world to Australia. In both of these family groups I had significant roles of leadership and participation, in which I felt needed and appreciated. Suddenly, I had none of these affirming markers of place and belonging – and of active roles as eldest daughter, elder sister, and elder in the church.
I admit that I felt (and perhaps am still feeling) loss. Sometimes I still feel homesick, and maybe even depressed.
The question of identity (Who am I?) and self worth are often defined by the roles that we play in our homes, our communities, our workplaces, our clubs, our schools, and our church.
And although, in my new home, I am forming friendships in my neighborhood and in my church, I find that I am reluctant to join in at a high level of participation and commitment. Normally an ‘extrovert, joiner-inner, leader’, I find myself only wanting to stay cocooned in my home, pursuing solitary activities.
Yet I have a strong sense that this is exactly where I need to be.
There are simply times when God must loose us from the relationships and activities from which we have derived our identity and sense of well-being. This is for our benefit, so that we can more deeply depend on the sureness of God’s character and love. He is faithful to us and has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He has promised to be with us in every circumstance of life.
And, if I spend my time right now looking back at what was, or longing for something else yet to come, I will not be present to the now, and I will miss the very unique opportunity that has been given to me.
Right now I have an opportunity to use this gift of time to foster a deeper intimacy with, and awareness of, God’s presence in my life – through contemplation, meditation, worship, prayer, reading, study, and writing. Although there is still a struggle between flesh and spirit, I want to discover Mary’s secret – that passionate focus that drew her to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen, even though there was so much need for her to serve. I’m a pretty good Martha, and it is satisfying to serve others. It is more difficult for me to be still and draw near enough to God to listen with my heart – to hear his quiet voice amidst the noisy distractions of the world.
We all go through different seasons in our lives. The season that I am in right now is full of new opportunities even though they don’t look like what I imagined.
I feel that this is a season of waiting and trusting in my life.
- Waiting and trusting with purpose.
- Waiting and trusting with hope.
- Waiting and trusting with faith.
- Waiting and trusting with patience.
Time for my spiritual roots to go deeper and feed on deep wells of water rather than surface rain.
God does not abandon his children. He is always looking to me – to us – with intent and purpose.
My life is important to Him.
I was uniquely created for a specific purpose and design and therefore I can trust God to work that out in me – in the best way possible.
When have you experienced a time of waiting? wondering? trusting? What was the outcome?
What season of life are you in right now? What are the challenges and rewards of this time that has been given to you?
In what ways can we embrace change as a positive force in our lives?
If we lose identity markers (employment, a relationship, a title or role, community), where can we find a better truth about ourselves?
That is my story. I would love to hear yours.
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I’m so glad you left a comment on my blog so I have the chance to visit yours. This is a beautiful meditation on this new ‘inner’ phase of your life, a time of waiting and deepening your time with God. I wrote about this in a recent blog on mastering waiting seasons, since I”m going through my own. Boy, did I struggle with some of it, until I surrendered to where God wants me– Abiding. I’m still in this season in many ways, waiting for His call for new, to do hHis work in the world. Moving to Australia..wow, a big move..but God holds you near. I love the depth of surrender in your blog. It’s profound and nurturing to hear, I’m reminded of my own need to allow the deepening of relationship with God during this waiting period.
PS This is the blog about my waiting period if you have interest.
Hi Kathy – I’m so glad that we connected, and your response touched my heart!
I love that word – Abiding. It gives meaning to waiting, with it’s connotations of security, trust, safety – and spiritual growth.
Thank you for sharing your blog post “How to Master Waiting Seasons.” It is so beautifully written. You wrote: “It’s in being filled with divine grace, we hear the rivers of our soul’s longing, the voice of God’s call, and where we wait for God’s spring to bloom.”
I look forward to reading more of your blog.
I identify with your spiritual journey. When God reforms who He wants us to be and then reframes our understanding and perspectives it’s like a master painter finding a new frame for a renovated painting. Romans 12:2
Well said, Kay. I just read Romans 12:2 in the NLV and I think that I will use that scripture as the basis for part 2 of this post. Thank you for your input. I like the way that we can share in one another’s spiritual journeys as we identify with one another and share our hearts and thoughts together (meaning you and others who have responded by saying that this has connected with them). God bless you.
Thanks diane. I would love to follow your blog
Brenda, you are a blessing to me.